getting grouchy

My day is getting glum,
so instead of doing one of the 8 million things I need to . . .

I have decided to blog.
Out of nowhere, it seems, right?

First,
It is rainy.
And not in the
cuddle-up-and-be-cozy kind of way.
More in the
I-have-to-go-in-and-out-of-it-all-day-and-
work-2-different-jobs-and-I-hate-using-umbrellas
sort of way.

So meh.

I am also having one of those days where I would just like to get rid of all of my furry children.
My dog won’t use the bathroom outside when it’s rainy.
Ask me where he does? IN HIS FREAKING WATER BOWL.

ew.

And he’s hyper and chasing the curmudgeonly cat who already refuses to use the litter box and only has diarrhea that sounds like she’s sneezing out her ass.

Are you sick of this yet? Because trust me,
this show is NOT better in 3D.

The other cats have done nothing wrong, but the parade of cat hair down my stairs and onto my black leggings is putting me in a real “throw the baby out with the bathwater” mood.

I really intended this post to be one sentence of grumpy and a paragraph of catch-up . . . whoops.

In the world where grouch and catch-up meet,
the non-profit I have been director of for six years is crumbling.
Or, at least their ability to pay my salary is, so no job after next month.

Except for taxes until April . . . so all this drama and I get to work two jobs while . . . drumroll, please . . . .

being a full-time graduate student!

After swearing never to spend money on school again,
I decided to get my Masters in Library Science.
Because, well, I *am* a librarian. I just am.
May as well get paid for it someday.

 

And that’s the news, folks.

I’ll be out of the slump when the sun returns! I promise.

the new year transition

I’m looking forward to spending some time tomorrow organizing digital files and looking back at pictures from 2011.
And I have to finish posting the Picture the Holidays photos.

But truly, some of my best days of the year came in the last two months.
Even since my last post before Christmas, I have seen so many loved ones.

Beyond family members, I had a beautiful visit with my most beloved college professor and a multi-day excursion to the DC area for long overdue catch-up and retreat time with James. I even got to see his show twice!

Christmas eve is here.

I am so sleepy, but want to take a few moments to collect my thoughts and appreciate what a great week it has been.

I’ve been reading “The Wilder Life: My Adventures in the Lost World of Little House on the Prairie”, and
am beginning this day (late this night) by watching an
episode of “Little House on the Prairie”. I do love the Christmas episodes.

Momma and I went on an overnight shopping trip at the beginning of the week in Hagerstown. It was bustling and absolutely perfect for setting my mood.

We stopped at the Alpine Pantry and all the baking is so meditative and peaceful to watch!

I’ve been moving swiftly ever since–

 

 

decorating our trees . . .
partying on Solstice Eve . . .
work. work. work..

And I had a long overdue talk with David late last night and then today a pleasant journey with Kevin for a festive and warm visit to the Jean Bonnet Tavern in Bedford with Josh, Shaun and John.

Blessed Solstice!

The Winter of Listening
by David Whyte

No one but me by the fire,
my hands burning
red in the palms while
the night wind carries
everything away outside.

All this petty worry
while the great cloak
of the sky grows dark
and intense
round every living thing.

What is precious
inside us does not
care to be known
by the mind
in ways that diminish
its presence.

What we strive for
in perfection
is not what turns us
into the lit angel
we desire,
what disturbs
and then nourishes
has everything
we need.

What we hate
in ourselves
is what we cannot know
in ourselves but
what is true to the pattern
does not need
to be explained.

Inside everyone
is a great shout of joy
waiting to be born.

Even with the summer
so far off
I feel it grown in me
now and ready
to arrive in the world.

All those years
listening to those
who had
nothing to say.

All those years
forgetting
how everything
has its own voice
to make
itself heard.

All those years
forgetting
how easily
you can belong
to everything
simply by listening.

And the slow
difficulty
of remembering
how everything
is born from
an opposite
and miraculous
otherness.
Silence and winter
has led me to that
otherness.

So let this winter
of listening
be enough
for the new life
I must call my own.

let’s talk productivity!

 

 

today.

I went on a date with my husband,
courtesy of our lovely patron saint
of dinner dates, Charlotte.

(I even stole a bite of
red velvet cupcake afterward!)

 

 

 

Speaking (or not) of my eating.

Our evening snack
was finishing off the
dukan-friendly bread
I made yesterday.

It’s very dense,
but quite satisfying.
I actually cheated
(again)
by using regular
cinnamon sugar on it.

I haven’t been getting
my daily dose of oat bran,
so it’s nice to have
something yummy to
encourage me to get back to it.

 

After taking most of this week to recover from the insanity of that past few months, I got around to rearranging the downstairs rooms. It took quite awhile, and I still have a bit of cleaning in the front room, but it looks like I am prime for decorating tomorrow!

AND I planned an overnight out of town shopping excursion with mom for later in the weekend.

Though I have all but given up the illusion that I will carry my DSLR around, I have continued with Picture the Holidays and am finding the relaxed camera phone use to be more in line with just savoring the moment and enjoying what is!

 

It’s 3:22am and I really need to unwind . . . but Pinterest is upgrading its servers! LOL.

Criminal Minds it is.

Two weeks of Picturing the Holidays

I’ve been reading the prompts each day and taking photos as I’ve been able.
Not all of them were taken on their assigned day, but all of them are from this season.  I have had a rather limited view of the holidays so far, being ties to theatrical obligations. It’s been rather unsafe and inconvenient to carry my big girl camera around, so I’ve done some snapping with my phone.
It’s an adventure! Here are the views so far:

Let the HOLIDAY begin!

I’m free!!!

I’m cuddled up at home planning the imminent furniture rearranging and decorating.

I’m putting off about a month’s worth of laundry that, thanks (or no thanks)
to a successful diet doesn’t really fit anymore.

I’m inspired and feeling all holiday giddy over this tree in Rochester NY’s Anthropologie store!

Picturing the Holidays

Until the show is over this weekend, I won’t have a chance to post them,
but I am using the prompts in Picturing the Holidays by Tracey Clark to help me savor the season.

I did receive an unexpected evening to recoup and gather my wits.
We experienced this awful wet and cold weather that was supposed to be snow, so our show was cancelled.

I am kind of grateful.

Happy December

And getting happier. As each day ticks by, I get closer to freedom.
Closer to spontaneous lunch dates and holiday decorating.
I estimate that I am about halfway through the crazy.

The radio show is done. (Note the pincurls.)
The show I directed, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, opens tomorrow.
Next week we will do the Christmas Cabaret, “Eat, Drink and Be Merry!”

And then . . . aaaaaaaaaah.

  

Dr. Kevin

Big week!

I hope to sit down and really reflect on the trip,
but the most important part is that Kev successfully defended his dissertation.

This was us celebrating—indulging in non-diet foods and tipsy-making beverages.

But really, it was such a blessed trip.
We visited so many wonderful friends that we grieve living so far from.