Dear Almost-Autumn

Your sister Summer, she is like a sprint—fast, feet hitting hard hot pavement, heart racing. Your time is the last slow heavy steps and the thud in my chest and ears of the blood pumping slower and slower to return to resting.

In the morning I stumble to the crisper drawer and then pad around the house with a pair of ripe plums . . . sometimes in the afternoon, too. (And maybe once, even past midnight.)

Some folks tidy in the Spring, but for me the clearing is most natural now, as the evening light fades faster and the days become more frequently overcast and breezy. My new year begs to begin with the harvest, with the early decay of summers fruits, with school days, with readying to celebrate my own birthday and the holy days where the veil is thin. The season’s wheel may have no beginning or end, but this is where my year premieres.

So far, this preparation looks like 13 full to bursting lawn bags of items going to thrift. It’s a still messy studio desk waiting patiently for me to start over, to ready my art space for the coming months and envision the year ahead.

Today is the day for wishing, but also for what manifested these past dozen moons. Today Luna is pregnant and laboring for the equinox. There is an eclipse. She is full, and whole and nurturing future possibilities.

I am pressing pause on the urges fueled by guilt and necessity.
— the piles of dishes in the kitchen and cat hair in the already dusty corners
— the immensely cluttered coffee table with half finished coloring pages, a thrice ripped out knitting project, two pairs of glasses, q-tips, a holiday potholder and two remotes with dying batteries
— even the plants who could really use a drink will have to wait one more day

This day is being written and lived in ways that don’t include sweeping the porch or doing the laundry. I will rest, because Almost-Autumn, I love you, but you make my sleep fit-full. And your mosquito friends are desperate in their imminent undoing and have made my blood their wine for their farewell celebration.

I will catch up with friends, eat good food and study the lunar wonder when the sun sets.

Until tomorrow
when I return to the sacred mundane.

Gathering. Cleansing. Stories. Blessings

When we were at the Wild Goose Festival and in Rachelle‘s session, we were telling stories to one another and the listener reflected back the key words to the speaker, words that might reveal core values.

I went to hear the story of a woman who did not have a partner in the exercise. I won’t share her story, as it isn’t mine to tell, but I can give you an important summary. The lesson. A timely one.

She was worried if the story was unsettling that it wouldn’t work– but of course, we are who we are in good times and bad. And we sometimes learn the most from the darkest moments.

The story was one of a situation where her partner’s race put them both at risk.

At the end, he said, "You can leave, I can’t expect you to stay through this."

And her response was, "I would never leave you alone in this."

The word I heard and reflected back to her was "Togetherness"
and little did I know but, as she said, "Unity is kinda [her] thing!"
We found a core value.

She chose "Togetherness" on day long ago, and then again when I wrote the word on her arm and when she spoke it aloud to the gathered community.

Sometimes togetherness is best when we don’t choose it at all, but when our love is so strong that we are compelled to cling tightly to the ones we love in the face of fear.

Reading? Not really . . .

More like workbooking. And drawing. And thinking.
But with the help of a book.

Design the Life You Love was the best kid of commitment.
It is a catalyst for your creativity and really can aid you in bringing an intentional quality to the way you think about your life.
Better yet, it provides exercises for determining what it is you really want and inspired me to seek it out.
As someone who binge-reads and consumes books with fury– this was one that I had to take my time with in order to soak in all the potential both in the book and in my life!

I’m reading again. Can you tell? More importantly, I am back on the review train!
Blogging for Books!

“Normally”

Welcome to Winter Solstice 2015.

HOWL. SEEK.
WANDER. NEST.
CHERISH. BURN.
GATHER. LOVE.
REFLECT. SING.
SURRENDER. BE.
RELEASE. GUIDE.
NURTURE. HELP.
FORGIVE. HOPE.

(This super awesome shirt came from skylinefever on Etsy.)

Every sentence that has passed through my head has begun with “normally”…
which indicates that my way of celebrating and reflecting is usually different.

“Normally” I am just as busy—maybe moreso. And yet, I “normally” feel like I have more time to reflect.

What I am realizing is that I have had the same amount of time—very little.
But “normally” I have less to process.

“Normally” my year is not so full as this one was.
A year ago today there was no indication that we would move this year.

I have continued through this year, in addition to all the events that don’t “normally “ happen, to continue to choose activity when I could choose otherwise. I have insisted on still living my life. Being with friends. Traveling. Partying. Even when I haven’t had time to put all the pieces together emotionally. It will come in time. Perhaps that is what next year will be.
Letting it all settle slowly, instead of trying to tie up all the loose ends here in a single short day.

I give you my reflection for the moment, the day—the shortest one.
I don’t have words yet. But see, so much living. Just in these last weeks!

I am reading this book.

I am reviewing this book.
It is one of the ways I am practicing a new way of conscious reading and retaining information. And I also get free books. So that’s what’s up.
Thanks to Hay House for the opportunity to read this pretty one.

First, I am a sucker for a pretty cover. The description of this book focuses on light working—which is normally too high on the floof factor, even for me. But guess what, I love her description of light working. And the suggestions are practical and grounded in everyday life.

As I was reading early on, I was disappointed by the way the book was divided into short sections, but as I continued I grew to love the format and found it really versatile for digesting the information. It would also really make it easy doing a read along or book group with others. All of the prompts give it a workbook feel that is casual and great food for thought.

The personal stories that the author shares are less memoir, more sharing life with a friend in a café. I have to admit, I am reading it again already. That’s a good sign for me.

I send myself emails

This is from earlier this week.

It all started with a moon.

The earth’s moon.

My moon. Our moon.
la luna.

This past Saturday the moon was FULL.

And word from astrologists . . . SUPER.

My months have been reordering themselves, fairly strictly around the cycle–
as if being a woman doesn’t already set one on that path.

After the MADNESS of 2014, and the CHAOS of the first half of 2015,

I am like, nesting, or something.
It’s a strange thing for me.
I am such a gypsy.
But during all the activity this year I feel like I have been wielding some great power– like I am trying to lasso the world’s largest creature, direct a tornado with my breath, or balance all the earth’s energy on the tip of my little finger.

I have been more than successful at taming the wildness.

But now.
I am seeking to maintain the beautiful movement of this life and still sustainably harness it.

. . .

So, I rebooted my tea drinking meditation time

and joined a year long course to help guide me in all this wish fulfillment.

Special love to Mindy!

Done with the Dares

I have spent a little more than a month now working my way through the #DareToExcel Challenge

I (mostly) completed the first 10 and posted about them as I went . . . then I got very journal-ly about it all and less blog-gy. But I would still like to share my annotations of the final dares!

Dare 11 involved reaching out to someone in the spirit of collaboration.
This dare happened to time out perfectly with my guiding a group of women through and online course directly related to my challenge/experiment.
I ended up making a number of connections. I have a sort of sub-dare that involves something much more closely related to the challenges and “putting myself out there”—let’s just say business cards were made and given to a local business whose clients may need my services. We have a mutual agreement to call one another with questions and guidance.

Dare 12 was about personal style—sharing my own genius, integrity and distinct point of view. I have to say this entire process has been identity-honing. And for someone whose life’s work has depended on identity formation—kudos to the work here for getting me clearer yet. Who knew?
I have done so much of the thinking already—it was time to get out all the lists and really break things down to the essence.

Dare 13 centered on the phrase “Design to Delight” — can we just get posters printed of this already??? The very idea was inspiring. During this time I was approached with an opportunity to meet the needs of someone, and my offer was simply to be present for them however they needed. During a very stressful process, that was in fact, most delight-full to them.

Dare 14 was to champion another’s work in public. WELL. Let me tell you. Serendipity was already at Play, because I was in the midst of helping a couple of friends fund some successful crowdfunding campaigns! Congraaaatualtions, kids!

Dare 15 is the call to claim the New Story being lived.
And I have. And I will.
And it deserves its own post. Just maybe later.

And with pictures.

Reach

If I did X, then would Y result?

I began Challenge 10 of the Dare to Excel Challenge a while go now.
I have been moving forward, but not so much reporting.

My question became–
If I simply am more open about my interest in the creative elements of my life,
then will more opportunities be forthcoming.

I think you know where this is going . . .
YES! ABSOLUTELY! SURPRISE!

But most shockingly, because the universe really is MAGIC,
the opportunities were not a direct result of my conversations.
INVISIBLE doors just started opening.

What I have learned is that the best “networking” is being yourself!
Sometimes I forget I am this person . . .

I rested.

Now that my mini-sabbatical is over, I am back and ready to focus on the second half of the Dare to Excel challenge.

Interestingly enough, challenge number 9 has been working itself out in my life behind the scenes. In my time away I had a lot of productive conversations about the new space and my life reboot. These talks provided me a chance to really process also how I can bring the re-tooled and freshly shined pieces of myself to others.

I know it all sounds so very vague. But we are working with a primordial creature here. Which is perfect that challenge 9 says “Allow for messiness.”

This is also where we are asked to:

• “Invite a few people behind the scenes.”
• “Invite feedback.”

I have continued the personal ritual process that I defined initially and just engaging others on the topic has seemed fruitful and helpful to all parties involved. It’s like some kind of massive permission giving to restore the sacred to the mundane.

I have also been inspired by friends who work on a very regular traditional spiritual and religious schedule, and those who have forged their own paths and help others to the same, healing through nature and the seasons.

The prompt’s last message included what I will call “the escape hatch”–

• “In the words of Lean Start-up author Eric Riess, then decide whether to move forward and persevere to publish the big project or to pivot toward a different project.”

While I have no desire to abandon the everyday project, I have seen ways I can expand and share what I am gaining through that process. And it, most ironically, relates to my first draft of my burning question, where I asked, “What if we sought inspiration for daily acts of creativity in people’s personalities and experiences, in our relationships to one another?”

You see, I study and teach personality theory, but it has never felt good for me to do so in big groups. I like the small group or one on one discussion where people discover who they are and begin to create a new vision of their self in relationship to the world, friends and family. It’s art. It is. It isn’t tangible, but it is transformative.

As I struggled through leaving another aspect of my life behind recently, my darling Kevin pointed out that I lead people and groups to transform and resistance comes to me when those people aren’t ready for the journey.
I think I need to find a way to work with people who are . . .
so there may be a new project in the works already . . . 
Experiment #2

Stay tuned.

reflect and celebrate

I’m doing lots of that these days.

It is the 8th Dare to Excel Challenge,
but having just completed some major life transitions,
I have been tidying up in my emotional world, too,
which is involving carving out quiet time and not apologizing for it.
Now *that’s* my kind of party.

positive changes? yes!
paying attention more to what matters? how did you know!
new relationships? isn’t that surprising!

The positive changes have included the mental and mood benefits of doing less, more frequently. Simple little things like sweeping everyday are really clearing out some majorly funky attitude cobwebs.

I am paying more attention to things at home . . . and home is benefitting.
My darling spouse is even making some major strides in his own attention and growth. It’s all oddly exciting. And makes for great conversations every single day.

AND I DID NOT ANTICIPATE ANY NEW ENGAGEMENT.
Wasn’t the point to de-clutter my life, including my obligations and circle of friends and acquaintances?
Yes, but . . . once things that drain your energy slip away, there is just so much space. It seems infinite. Which I am aware time is NOT.
So, while I am making no strict commitments, there are possibilities afloat for some new adventures.

The rest of this week involves some travel and some great connections,
so it might be a week before I pick back up on the challenge!

Mini-vacay!