“this is the season for dreaming”


“Something’s started crazy –
Sweet and unknown
Something you keep
In a box on the street –
Now it’s longing for a home

And who can say what dreams are?”

–Sater, Spring Awakening

I dedicated myself anew to dreaming this year.  It began tentatively last year when I signed up for the first Mondo Beyondo ecourse. The process then was new and frenzied for me. So here we go again. 

More dreaming is always good.

I have trouble knowing what I want.  So, its an exercise for me to not only identify small desires, but also the GREAT BIG oh-my-gosh-this-isn’t-possible dreams.

The first lesson asked me who inspires me to dream. I know I am far from my childhood these days, but living in my hometown has made me more aware than ever of the beliefs I acquired then.  And what I learned from people around me was that your resources go toward surviving—not frivolity.  Anything that requires risk isn’t worth it.  I see lots of cautiousness.  And I am a very cautious person myself.  I doubt anyone would see me that way, because I have always been the local gypsy.  But even in my free-spiritedness there has been a lack of willingness to sacrifice security on any level.  I am not sure that is required of me, but I say that to illustrate how few examples I have in my personal life of people following their dreams.

While I don’t have models for dreaming, what I do have is support for my own dreaming.  My parents have supported me.  My spouse is beyond encouraging.  It’s me that remains a little stuck.

I have a bit of a fear of success and have had a tendency to self sabotage.  Not in physically harmful ways, but by undermining my own abilities and not taking opportunities.

So I think a dreamer to admire is something I will need to find.  Not only would I like to discover a personal dreaming mentor, but it might be a good idea to note qualities in those I don’t really know.

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