poorly timed naps

Standard

. . . are still naps.
so I am not complaining.
But my body is confused that at 11:39 pm,
it feels a lot like “morning”.
Yesterday and today have been just, well, nice.
The weather has been pleasing.
And I have gotten to just relax and read
and yet still be social and productive.
Isn’t that unusual?

Of course, I had a couple of minor glitches.
One being that I decided (in the absence of my deaded Motorola)
to use my old LG instead of the loaner.
I made this decision not realizing that tapping into the
contents of the old text messages on there would
inadvertently cause me to relive some incredibly
painful and uncomfortable moments in my (still too) recent history.
The two weeks prior and week following the acute medical incident
of November past? The unnecessary emotional turmoil that surrounded it?
It was all just sitting in the Inbox waiting to pounce.
I hit delete, but not before I felt the sting.
That feeling when an embarrassing, shameful, betraying or belittling
memory comes barreling at you like a steam engine?
I felt it full out.
Yea, it was gross.
I think I go through the motions of my life prior to that time,
but I am pretty sure I will never feel the same again.
Which is ok.

Good times abound.
Emma Beth turned FOUR.
emma5

Parties happen.
party mix 15

I have had good meals with old friends.
I read more. I still don’t write as much as I want to.
I laugh on the inside.
I even feel like occasionally I have something to offer.

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