She is the daughter of my wise and loyal friend.
She was born on October 21,
but I just finally met her on Monday.
She had to spend a few weeks in the NICU.
And then I was sick.
But we met, finally.
Her mom is recovering from surgery this week,
so I got to spend the day holding her.
It was intensely therapeutic after the past few weeks
of stress and health issues and unfortunate realizations.
Yesterday her mother said some wonderfully validating things to me about my life —
pointed out a truth that made me feel less a fool.
Then today, her mama reminded me,
“People always mistake kindness for weakness.”
And what a tragic fact that is!
But the nicer you are, the more people feel they can get away with. And being vulnerable, people assume you cannot also be mindful– that somehow emotions always remove your ability to make intellectual decisions.
I am taking care of my weakened body.
I am feeding a hungry mind.
I am cradling a weary soul.
And my heart will ache, but not break.
I actually feel good. Though it all comes and goes in strong waves.
But I think I am slowly reaching some resolve;
I just hope I have made correct assumptions and the right decisions.