I set out the sugar skulls yesterday.


I miss actually celebrating All Saints/All Souls and Dia del los Muertos.
But I still needed to observe.
I mentioned this before but I don’t usually recall death anniversaries.
However, Justin and Johnny both died so close to this holiday that I never forget.

I’m sure I will post more about Johnny. I have before but it all bears repeating.
Grief is something I have experienced throughout my life as people pass through.
But Johnny is the first person I recall really mourning
not wanting to return to life as normal, needing reminders for a period of time.
I wore black for close to a week, not for a sense of drama but because I needed the outward symbol.
Mourning fashions of the Victorian Era finally made sense to me.
After that I wore a black headscarf on and off for a long time.

I still feel that mourning process continues, like a steadily slowing heartbeat.
There’s more space between the pulses now, but they continue.

By way of a random update–
I feel good right now (with the exception of a sinus headache.)
And that is a relief.

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