oh, the depths of my irreverence . . .
I sometimes forget that people very dear to me actually read my insane brain dumping on here.
I hope it’s taken for what it is– a window to the inside– and not any reflection of my outward feelings toward the people dearest to me.
However, it seems as if my rambling may have unintentionally incited a long overdue visit with kiaroskuro and heimdall —
and that is never a bad thing.
I’ve just been followed around by a lot of grief lately, my own and other people’s. Much of my reaction to the world is currently based on nothing rational.
But just to sum up and alleviate any actual feelings of responsibility on the part of the rest of the world . . .
– My mom’s mom died in June. There is no overstating the magnitude of that.
– We scattered the ashes in August. Ironically, it was the 10th anniversary of the day my dad’s father was killed.
– My gram’s sister just died almost two weeks ago. That was the funeral I was officiating.
– Sylvia, a drama teacher colleague of my gram’s (who nurtured my love of theatre as a child), died unexpectedly last week.
– A close cousin is dying of breast cancer, no longer fighting, dying.
– A close educator friend and mentor is now dying of an inoperable brain tumor. She has one month.
– I am coming upon what is always a very painful season. I don’t usually recall death dates but Novemeber is ugly.
Kev’s little brother died in early November My dear friend, Johnny also died in November maybe 7 years ago? geesh. They were 10 and 29, respectively.
– I have a host of other ghosts that appear whenever death is so near. That is a long list.
– Public figures deaths this year that have been memorable to me . . .
Madeleine L’Engle, Lloyd Alexander, Kurt Vonnegut, Tammy Faye, Ingmar Bergman, and most recently- Marcel Marceau
But you gotta keep going . . .
damn having friends doing Into the Woods– it means those words are more stuck in my head than usual.
“Wake up! People are dying all around you. You’re not the only one to suffer a loss.
When you’re dead, you’re dead.”