I post here to remind myself that there are days when my life actually gets lived.
Other times I just let it happen.
And that is a little gross to me.
This weekend I *didn’t* take a trip I expected to. The week had just been too full.
My aunt died and on Wednesday I performed the service. It was very strange to return to what feels like such a foreign world– to play a huge role in someone else’s ritual and know that you are forever a part of someone else’s grief and healing process.
So, in the absence of feeling genuinely loved, I have at least felt appreciated.
And I have a friend in town who also works in social services who continually is supportive. We have a relationship that feels like we constantly miss one another and yet the time we spend together feels so important to my ability to keep going.
Over the weekend I attended the Neil Berg concert that I raved about last year. Again, it was nice to have such talent so close to home. Maybe some of the energy will linger.
I still am longing to have time to visit people, to see people that I know will greet me with a hug and make silly noises and share inside jokes from the depths of memory with the same intensity as if they had happened yesterday.
This year is my ten year college reunion. I won’t be going. Especially since my best friends all graduated before me.
But it makes me want to remember even the things I have chosen to forget.